26 Results for : moronic

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    Sex, Death & Honey: The Misadventures of Butch Quick , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 423min
    Dead hookers, murderous junkies, and pissed-off drug lords. Butch Quick is having a really bad night.  Meet Butch Quick, a reluctant tough guy with a bad attitude and a talent for trouble. If the job is too dirty or dangerous for anyone else, then Butch is your man.  When Butch repossesses a vintage 1968 Mustang from a neighborhood troublemaker, he uncovers a dark secret that tangles him up with a local drug kingpin and his army of moronic goons, a foul-mouthed macaw, and a dangerous woman named Honey.  “You just gotta like Brian Knight’s jack-of-all trades tough guy, Butch Quick. Butch is a muscle-bound Sad Sack, a big-hearted lug of an actual nice guy who just can’t get a break. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. More please!” (Paul Bishop, author of Fight Card: Felony Fists) ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Roberto Scarlato. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/124281/bk_acx0_124281_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Expensive Janitor: Deeper Clean , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 267min
    Welcome to another journey into the dark, dysfunctional underbelly of New Mexico. Our reluctant hero navigates his way through new towns and clients, facing multiple near-death experiences as he fights for the rights of the guilty and absurdly stupid.Along the way, you will encounter steroid-enhanced hillbillies, bitch-slapping cross-dressers, and gun-toting Nazis, all out on a binge. Moronic drug dealers, drunken strippers dancing under a full moon, and a gun-filled Mexican standoff at McDonalds will have you cancelling your plans to visit New Mexico immediately.Dashing through the heroin dens of Espanola, you sneer at nouveau riche tourists in Santa Fe before flying to Roswell and learning the truth behind the Alien spacecraft crash of 1947.Expensive Janitor: Deeper Clean brings back some of your favorite characters; Abdul the Pakistani repo guy and Phoebe, the office manager who is always packing heat, while introducing new characters whose lives are so messed up, you won’t believe it until you listen to it. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Matt Hummel. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/186651/bk_acx0_186651_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Grundish and Askew , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 465min
    Strap on your athletic cup and grab a barf bag. The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle is going to kick you square in the balls and send you on a wild ride that may or may not answer the following questions: What happens when two white trash, trailer park-dwelling, platonic life partners go on a moronic and misdirected crime spree? Can their manly love for each other endure when one of them suffers a psychological bitch-slap that renders him a homicidal maniac? Will a snaggletoothed teenage prostitute tear them apart? What is the best way to use a dead illegal alien to your advantage in a hostage situation? What's that smell? And, what the hell is Alf the Sacred Burro coughing up? Carbuncle's latest offering, Grundish and Askew, ponders these troubling questions and more. So sit down, put on some protective goggles, and get ready for Carbuncle to blast you in the face with a warm load of fictitious sickness. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Brandon Paul Eells. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/028187/bk_acx0_028187_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Callahan's Con , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 577min
    In the discreet little Key West bar that Jake Stonebender established, Fast Eddie Costigan learned to curse back at parrots as he played the house piano; the Reverend Tom Hauptman learned to tend bar bare-chested, and Long-Drink McGonnigle discovered the margarita. Nobody even noticed them save the universe. After 10 quiet years, their laid-back existence is disturbed by a malevolent, moronic Mafioso, named Tony Donuts, Jr., intending to resurrect the classic protection racket in Key West. Jake's scientifically precocious 13-year-old daughter is threatened by the truancy officer and then, thanks to very poor accessorizing, Jake's wife, Zoey, suddenly finds herself in a place with no light, no heat, and no air. And no way home. The urgent question was where, precisely where, but that turned out to be a problem so complex that even the entire gang, equipped with teleportation, time travel, and telepathic syntony, might not be able to crack it in time. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Barret Whitener. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/blak/000774/bk_blak_000774_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    The Book of Roderick: Medieval Mayhem , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 265min
    Imagine TV's Family Guy, Game of Thrones, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and Harry Potter all had a group gang-bang. The Book of Roderick would be the offspring created by that shameful night. Roderick and his best friend Horace discover a magical book left for Roderick by his father. Upon reading the book out loud, the moronic misfits are transported back to medieval times to the fictional location in the book: Candiace Kingdom. Despite possessing the combined IQ of a functionally average man, Roderick and Horace are forced to navigate through an impending war, and a population ripe with lies, treachery, seduction, and danger in order to find their way back home. Easily the most ridiculous, offensive book ever written, The Book of Roderick: Medieval Mayhem is book one of an upcoming series by author Eric Falvey. Full of punchlines, and with all the perverted, beer-soaked, hilarious shenanigans you could ever want, this is book is sure to delight anyone who enjoys envelope-pushing hilarity, and/or partakes in the Devil's Lettuce. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Ethan Haslam. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/161005/bk_acx0_161005_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Dead Jed: Adventures of a Middle School Zombie, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 343min
    Dead Jed is Shaun of the Dead meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Jed's not your typical middle school geek. He is, to use the politically correct term, cardiovascularly challenged. And while his parents have attempted to shield him from the implications of being different for as long as they could (Jed was eight and at a friend's sister's birthday party when he blew his lips off onto the cake in front of everyone, finally prompting the "big talk" from his parents and an emergency superglue repair by his dad), seventh grade at Pine Hollow Middle School as a target of Robbie the supreme school bully and his pack of moronic toadies is rapidly becoming unbearable. From being stuffed in a filled trash can as "dead meat" and into a trophy case as the bully's "prize" to literally having his hand pulled off in the boys' room (Jed's always losing body parts - but with a good stapler and some duct tape, he's back in the action), Jed's had enough and is ready to plan his revenge. Besides, it's awesome what you can do when you're already dead. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: August Ross. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/blak/006121/bk_blak_006121_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    The Winter Family , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 744min
    Tracing a group of ruthless outlaws from its genesis during the American Civil War all the way to a final bloody stand in the Oklahoma territories, The Winter Family is a hyperkinetic Western noir that reads like a full-on assault to the senses. Spanning the better part of three decades, The Winter Family traverses America's harsh, untamed terrain, both serving and opposing the fierce advance of civilization. Among its twisted specimens, the Winter Family includes the psychopathic killer Quentin Ross, the mean and moronic Empire brothers, the impassive ex-slave Fred Johnson, and the dangerous child prodigy Lukas Shakespeare. But at the malevolent center of this ultra-violent storm is their cold, hardened leader, Augustus Winter - a man with an almost pathological resistance to the rules of society and a preternatural gift for butchery. From their service as political thugs in a brutal Chicago election to their work as bounty hunters in the deserts of Arizona, there's a hypnotic logic to Winter's grim borderland morality that plays out, time and again, in ruthless carnage. With its haunting, hard-edged style, The Winter Family is a feverishly paced meditation on human nature and the dark contradictions of progress. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Patrick Lawlor. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/brll/006888/bk_brll_006888_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Fool: A Novel , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 520min
    Christopher Moore, much beloved scrivener and peerless literary jester, now takes on no less than the legendary Bard himself (with the utmost humility and respect) with a twisted and insanely funny tale of a moronic monarch and his deceitful daughters, as seen through the eyes of a man wearing a codpiece and bells on his head. Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear demands that his kids swear to him their undying love and devotion. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of...well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot. Well now the bangers and mash have really hit the fan. And the only person who can possibly make things right . . . is Pocket. Now he's going to have do some very fancy maneuvering: cast some spells, start a war or two - the usual stuff - to get Cordelia back into Daddy Lear's good graces, to derail the fiendish power plays of Cordelia's twisted sisters, and to shag every lusciously shaggable wench who's amenable to shagging along the way. Pocket may be a fool...but he's definitely not an idiot. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Euan Morton. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/harp/001797/bk_harp_001797_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Pendrackon : The Rules, Book 2 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 623min
    Don't break any rules, even if they make no sense.Sam is back and better than ever! Just kidding. His life still sucks. Dragged into the video-game-like world of Somerset, he is constantly having his patience and sanity tested by the world's sheer tropiness and unoriginality. Like, for example, how Princess Willow of the East was kidnapped just a few hours after asking for his help in saving her kingdom. Or, how seemingly no one, including the all-powerful Adventurers Guild, can do anything about it.  Worse than a world that seems to have no end of horrible naming schemes, overplayed story lines, and moronic knights with a penchant for long and overblown speeches about justice, Sam has to deal with a talking dog who seems to enjoy belittling him at every possible opportunity. Add that to the fact that all he can eat day in and day out is stew, and Sam is left with some serious anger issues. Good thing there are all those bunnies around!  Dear Listener,  This is a LitRPG book containing stat sheets, leveling, and epic loot. This book contains excessive amounts of profanity. Like, a lot, (seriously, I mean it!) and some content that may not be suitable for children. So, if you thought the last book was too much, do everyone a favor and avoid this one. If you still complain about cursing in the reviews after this, it's all on you, pal!  Sincerely, Sam ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Doug Tisdale, Jr.. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/198237/bk_acx0_198237_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    The Rational Animal: How Evolution Made Us Smarter Than We Think , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 523min
    Why do three out of four professional football players go bankrupt? How can illiterate jungle dwellers pass a test that tricks Harvard philosophers? And why do billionaires work so hard - only to give their hard-earned money away? When it comes to making decisions, the classic view is that humans are eminently rational. But growing evidence suggests instead that our choices are often irrational, biased, and occasionally even moronic. Which view is right - or is there another possibility? In this animated tour of the inner workings of the mind, psychologist Douglas T. Kenrick and business professor Vladas Griskevicius challenge the prevailing views of decision making, and present a new alternative grounded in evolutionary science. By connecting our modern behaviors to their ancestral roots, they reveal that underneath our seemingly foolish tendencies is an exceptionally wise system of decision making. From investing money to choosing a job, from buying a car to choosing a romantic partner, our choices are driven by deep-seated evolutionary goals. Because each of us has multiple evolutionary goals, though, new research reveals something radical - there’s more than one "you" making decisions. Although it feels as if there is just one single "self" inside your head, your mind actually contains several different subselves, each one steering you in a different direction when it takes its turn at the controls. The Rational Animal will transform the way you think about decision making. And along the way, you’ll discover the intimate connections between ovulating strippers, Wall Street financiers, testosterone-crazed skateboarders, Steve Jobs, Elvis Presley, and you. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Tim Andres Pabon. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/gdan/001099/bk_gdan_001099_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping

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